literature

Drop Me A Line

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ScarletQuill's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

Said you would call me "later"...
I wanted to believe you,
Yet have only since gotten busy signals.
Perhaps it would be better -
If you said you'd write a postcard.
So that I could *almost* pretend
It got lost in the mail.
Recently had to accept the fact that a good friend may have moved on even after moving closer. It hurts but I know I'll get through it.
Just have to remember to keep breathing...
Comments6
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amazingmle11's avatar
dropping in from :iconprojectcomment:

I saw this yesterday and I just couldn't forget it. It's a really nice poem, very poignant and sad. It's just a tiny bit sarcastic and dry, just enough that the poem doesn't get whiny, but not so much that you lose the sense of heartbreak. Very good job balancing the wit and the sadness. I think that some of the punctuation is a little awkward though. For example, I don't think you need quotation marks or the "..." after "later". Also, the comma at the end of the second line and the dash at the end of the fourth line seem a little bit redundant. The break in phrasing is marked clearly enough by starting a new line. And I don't think you need asterisks around "almost". If you want, you can make it italic, but the asterisks are a bit out of place. Overall, really nice poem. :)